Category Archives: Uncategorized

Penis Size: Big vs Small

Today I am going to discuss my view of penis size and the age old question of “does size really matter?”. I mean there are millions of penis enlarging pills and tools out there to make yours bigger so there must be a reason men want it bigger right? The penis enlargement business is a billion dollar industry and not because its just the new hip thing to do. ALL men want a big penis. Period. But, for some of us, we were not blessed with a Ron Jeremy size penis. Most of us have the normal average size dick. The average size on most websites I have found comes out to be around 5.5 inches. The ultimate questions is this, “Can I satisfy with my average penis?”.

Growing up, I would always check out my dads penis when we went to the bathroom and would wonder why his was always so much bigger than mine. Even now when I go to a public restroom, if young boys come in to use the urinals, they will always look at your dick instead of paying attention to their own pissing all over the floor. Even some grown men do this, just cause they are curious as to how they size up.

As for me, penis size does not matter when it comes to making a woman have an orgasm. It’s all in how you work the womans anatomy. A woman has a clitoris which stimulates the orgasm. The vaginal cavity that you are thrusting your 4 inch penis  into has nothing to do with whether the woman has an orgasm or not. I’m not saying that there is no absolute pleasure from having ones dick inside the vaginal cavity, but what I am saying is that you don’t have to be Mr. Monster Cock to make your woman happy.

I am giving these tips away for free so make sure your taking mental notes!

Tip #1 Foreplay!

Don’t think just cause I am saying that your tiny weeny can now be a useful tool that you need to run home whip it out and start pounding your wife. That’s not going to work out for you. Draw her a hot bubble bath and light candles all over the bedroom. When she gets out, kiss her. Kissing is probably the most erotic thing you can do to a woman. After she starts getting wet from kissing, move onto rubbing her clitoris and teasing it with your tongue. A great fore play session before sex can get you a long way!

Tip #2 Positional Play

I know you just want to turn her around and start humping her rear end like a rock porn star, but this position is not the best for making your woman happy. Try laying her flat on her back and pulling her knees up to her chest. Slide that pencil in there and get you some KY jelly for her clitoris. You have to keep her clitoris stimulated, eventually she is going to cum while you are having sex. You can try all sorts of positions but you have to be able to reach her clitoris with your hands, or hell even a vibrator for that matter. I prefer my hands because I don’t ever want the woman to be please by anything but me. Just my flavor.

Remember, Its not about how hard or long your penis is. Any penis size can make a woman cum if you know what your doing. Find out just the right touch for her clit, the touch that makes her move around and squirm for you to keep going. You can tell a lot by body language! Happy Sex!

Get off the nip already kid!

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You know who you are. Your that mom that cant get your stubborn little kid of the nip huh? You must be single or something. Cause if I was your man, them breasts would be coming back home to Papa and not go m.i.a. on my ass for 8 years. Here in this article I am going to give you some useful tips on getting that leach sucking kid off your worn out nipples.

Tip #1 WEAN!!

You have to wean these crack babies off that nipple ladies! Why do you think us men go straight for the breasts during any sort of fore play? We always come back home to the nip 🙂 Start with cutting out the first morning session, this session is the most loved. Keep adding taking out a session as you go.

Tip #2 WASABI

You can always rub some good ole hot Wasabi on those nipples right before a session if the brat is still wanting the nip after you tried the weaning part. If you start to feel a nice tingling sensation from the Wasabi, don’t worry, just bring that nipple over to the desiring wet lips of your husband and he will make it all better 😉

Tip #3 DISCIPLINE

When that toddler starts to cry and throw a temper tantrum, take those big breasts out and bend them over and smack those things good across them. Show them that you are serious about getting their eyes off the prize. Heck, it wouldn’t bother me if you slapped them around in the face a little with them. Use those tools the good Lord gave you like a ruler across ones hand! Lay the smack down momma! 🙂

Hope I could at least make you smile!

Stop doing crunches fattty!

Well this is my first ever blog and I am going to hit the gates running like a wild horse on this issue. Are you the person that goes to the gym with a doughnut or spare tire for that matter wrapped around your mid section? And what is the first exercise that comes to mind that you should start with? Crunches? Ab Machines? Hell NO!!! Get your fat ass on the treadmill and start running, and walking. Now let me explain why. You keep telling me that you are doing 1000 crunches a week and you just cant seem to lose any belly fat. Its not going to happen that way Jay Leno. Why even bother doing sit ups or crunches when you have polar bear layers of fat covering up your abs? There is no point! Until you lose the fat surrounding your abs, no point in trying to make them magically appear or rise to the surface from under that fat. That’s not going to happen either! So now your question is “How do I lose the belly fat?” Well, interval training is most likely going to be your best source since you obviously have no knowledge to begin with because your fat ass was over there doing sit ups for NOTHING. Interval training is doing one certain exercise at one pace then switching to another pace. I would suggest for you rookies with that jelly filled doughnut around your waste to start with a walk/run interval. Walk on the treadmill at a low incline for 1 minute, then run at the same incline for 2 minutes. Do this repeatedly for 30 minutes. If that spare tire starts getting heavy and 30 minutes is too much to begin with then try 15 minutes and work your way up. My point to this blog is that you WILL NOT lose belly fat doing any sort of abdomen exercise. You have to burn that fat off the good old hard way. Sweat it out!!!