Category Archives: Fitness

Corporal Punishment: Yay or Nay?

I know I know, it’s just so much easier to send your child to the room ,or “Time Out” right? Well stop being lazy and get up and whip that child’s ass! You are the parent, you run things around your house right? If you want to run things then you better get a handle on shit around your house! Stop letting that stubborn child run your life. Sometimes you just need to break out a wooden spoon, broom handle, or something of that matter and beat the shit out of their rear end. Next time you are at an event or a certain circumstance that your child doesn’t want to be removed from try these two methods and see what works best for you.

Option 1: Asking Nicely and Time Out  

(Timmy is at the skating rink having a wonderful day when his mom comes over to ask him to leave)

Mom: “Timmy, it’s time to go dear”

Timmy: “Go get me a sandwich bitch, it aint time to leave”

Mom: “Timmy, you should never talk to your mother that way!”

Timmy: “You finished with my sandwich yet?”

Mom: “You are sitting in time out, when we get home”

Timmy: “good I need to take a shit anyhow”

Option 2: Lay the smack down

(Same scenario, different mom)

Mom: “Cmon’ Timmy! Time to go!”

Timmy: “But mom, the other kids are still here”

Mom: “Don’t make me come out there and whip yo ass with a skate!! You got 3 seconds to get in the car!!”

Timmy: “Yes ma’am”


Stop doing crunches fattty!

Well this is my first ever blog and I am going to hit the gates running like a wild horse on this issue. Are you the person that goes to the gym with a doughnut or spare tire for that matter wrapped around your mid section? And what is the first exercise that comes to mind that you should start with? Crunches? Ab Machines? Hell NO!!! Get your fat ass on the treadmill and start running, and walking. Now let me explain why. You keep telling me that you are doing 1000 crunches a week and you just cant seem to lose any belly fat. Its not going to happen that way Jay Leno. Why even bother doing sit ups or crunches when you have polar bear layers of fat covering up your abs? There is no point! Until you lose the fat surrounding your abs, no point in trying to make them magically appear or rise to the surface from under that fat. That’s not going to happen either! So now your question is “How do I lose the belly fat?” Well, interval training is most likely going to be your best source since you obviously have no knowledge to begin with because your fat ass was over there doing sit ups for NOTHING. Interval training is doing one certain exercise at one pace then switching to another pace. I would suggest for you rookies with that jelly filled doughnut around your waste to start with a walk/run interval. Walk on the treadmill at a low incline for 1 minute, then run at the same incline for 2 minutes. Do this repeatedly for 30 minutes. If that spare tire starts getting heavy and 30 minutes is too much to begin with then try 15 minutes and work your way up. My point to this blog is that you WILL NOT lose belly fat doing any sort of abdomen exercise. You have to burn that fat off the good old hard way. Sweat it out!!!