POGO: How to cheat and become a jacker in Spades

In this post I am going to give you a few pointers as to how to become a jacker in the crazy world of Pogo Spades. This 4 multi-player game is a fierce underground battle for dominance of who can be the best at taking over someone’s game. Pogo Spades uses a rank system to make it a bit more competitive. There are many players there to just play fair and build there mini(avatar) the legitimate way. However, there are many out there that use many ways to cheat, and when they cheat you, its not fun. Today I am going to give out the basic principals of jacking someone’s table. We can get into more technical details in another post.

Step 1: Get multiple web browsers

Most jackers have at least 4 browsers. There are 4 seats at a table so you need to be able to control the whole table by having 4 browsers all signed in with 4 different names of yours to sit in all the seats. Some jackers like myself have upwards of 12 browsers. Some are better than others. I would recommend Opera, Chrome, FireFox, Sea Monkey, Rock Melt to start. Get at least 4 downloaded to begin with.

Step 2: Make some screen names

Once you have downloaded all your web browsers, now you need names to sign into each browser with. Pogo gives out free passes with every clubbed screen name you have. Send some free passes to your email to create some new screen names with. Once you have all the free passes in your email go ahead and start creating names. Sometimes Badge Hungry gives out free passes you just need to check with them periodically.

Here is the link to badge hungry: http://www.badgehungry.com/free-pogo-tokens/

Also, if you want to dress up your mini(avatar) you will need some tokens.

Here is a link for free tokens:  http://www.pogocheats.net/token-grabber/

Step 3: Sign into all browsers

Next you will need to open all 4 browsers and sign into each one with a different screen name. Once you have signed on to each browser now you are ready to take all 4 names into a room. Pick a blue room to start out with since all we are doing is learning here.  Load all 4 names or nics(as most people call them) into a room. Now this is the part that you will need to get used to. Move the four screens around so you can see all 4 browsers at once inside the room.  Most jackers use a backdoor or sneekin to get into rooms because you can get into the room even if it’s full.

Here is a link to sneekin for Spades: http://www.sneekin.com/PogoBackdoors/spades.htm

Step 4: Set a table

The next step you want to do is set a table. Create a table to play one with one name, then sit one of your other names across from you to be your partner. So basically this is called “double browsing”. You are on 1 table with 2 names. You are acting like you are playing with a partner but in reality you are both players.

Step 5: Freezing a seat

Now that you already have 2 out of the 4 seats on the table, you will need to freeze one of the other players seats to gain control of the table. In spades you can boot people from the table if they play too slow, or just piss you off, or for whatever reason. To boot someone, you click on their name and give a reason to boot them out and then hit the “OK” button. Once you hit okay, the boot will go around the table for everyone else to vote whether they want to boot that person off the table or not. Now, there is also a timer set for most games. This is where we learn to freeze. Freezing someones seats is all about manipulating the clock. Ok so here is the basic freeze. During game play while timer is running, right click on your partners name and get ready to send a boot for your partner to get booted out the game. The reason you do this is because the vote will go to the seat to your left next to vote on the boot. If you send or hit the “OK” button with 1-2 seconds left on the clock and then play one of your cards really fast, it will freeze the person to your left. The person in the seat to your left will be frozen and will have to leave the table and try to get back in their seat before you grab it. You are going to try to grab their seat with one of your other names you have waiting in the lobby. Once they jump off table, BAM! Grab their seat! Now you have 3 names on the table and you can boot out the other person because you have majority vote on the boot. Now play the rest of the game out to your favor 🙂

This post is meant to level the playing field out some in POGO Spades. Now maybe there will be new jackers to rise up, and new people to contend with! Feel free to ask me any questions as I can go into more detail! Happy Gaming!

Corporal Punishment: Yay or Nay?

I know I know, it’s just so much easier to send your child to the room ,or “Time Out” right? Well stop being lazy and get up and whip that child’s ass! You are the parent, you run things around your house right? If you want to run things then you better get a handle on shit around your house! Stop letting that stubborn child run your life. Sometimes you just need to break out a wooden spoon, broom handle, or something of that matter and beat the shit out of their rear end. Next time you are at an event or a certain circumstance that your child doesn’t want to be removed from try these two methods and see what works best for you.

Option 1: Asking Nicely and Time Out  

(Timmy is at the skating rink having a wonderful day when his mom comes over to ask him to leave)

Mom: “Timmy, it’s time to go dear”

Timmy: “Go get me a sandwich bitch, it aint time to leave”

Mom: “Timmy, you should never talk to your mother that way!”

Timmy: “You finished with my sandwich yet?”

Mom: “You are sitting in time out, when we get home”

Timmy: “good I need to take a shit anyhow”

Option 2: Lay the smack down

(Same scenario, different mom)

Mom: “Cmon’ Timmy! Time to go!”

Timmy: “But mom, the other kids are still here”

Mom: “Don’t make me come out there and whip yo ass with a skate!! You got 3 seconds to get in the car!!”

Timmy: “Yes ma’am”

Penis Size: Big vs Small

Today I am going to discuss my view of penis size and the age old question of “does size really matter?”. I mean there are millions of penis enlarging pills and tools out there to make yours bigger so there must be a reason men want it bigger right? The penis enlargement business is a billion dollar industry and not because its just the new hip thing to do. ALL men want a big penis. Period. But, for some of us, we were not blessed with a Ron Jeremy size penis. Most of us have the normal average size dick. The average size on most websites I have found comes out to be around 5.5 inches. The ultimate questions is this, “Can I satisfy with my average penis?”.

Growing up, I would always check out my dads penis when we went to the bathroom and would wonder why his was always so much bigger than mine. Even now when I go to a public restroom, if young boys come in to use the urinals, they will always look at your dick instead of paying attention to their own pissing all over the floor. Even some grown men do this, just cause they are curious as to how they size up.

As for me, penis size does not matter when it comes to making a woman have an orgasm. It’s all in how you work the womans anatomy. A woman has a clitoris which stimulates the orgasm. The vaginal cavity that you are thrusting your 4 inch penis  into has nothing to do with whether the woman has an orgasm or not. I’m not saying that there is no absolute pleasure from having ones dick inside the vaginal cavity, but what I am saying is that you don’t have to be Mr. Monster Cock to make your woman happy.

I am giving these tips away for free so make sure your taking mental notes!

Tip #1 Foreplay!

Don’t think just cause I am saying that your tiny weeny can now be a useful tool that you need to run home whip it out and start pounding your wife. That’s not going to work out for you. Draw her a hot bubble bath and light candles all over the bedroom. When she gets out, kiss her. Kissing is probably the most erotic thing you can do to a woman. After she starts getting wet from kissing, move onto rubbing her clitoris and teasing it with your tongue. A great fore play session before sex can get you a long way!

Tip #2 Positional Play

I know you just want to turn her around and start humping her rear end like a rock porn star, but this position is not the best for making your woman happy. Try laying her flat on her back and pulling her knees up to her chest. Slide that pencil in there and get you some KY jelly for her clitoris. You have to keep her clitoris stimulated, eventually she is going to cum while you are having sex. You can try all sorts of positions but you have to be able to reach her clitoris with your hands, or hell even a vibrator for that matter. I prefer my hands because I don’t ever want the woman to be please by anything but me. Just my flavor.

Remember, Its not about how hard or long your penis is. Any penis size can make a woman cum if you know what your doing. Find out just the right touch for her clit, the touch that makes her move around and squirm for you to keep going. You can tell a lot by body language! Happy Sex!

Get off the nip already kid!

You know who you are. Your that mom that cant get your stubborn little kid of the nip huh? You must be single or something. Cause if I was your man, them breasts would be coming back home to Papa and not go m.i.a. on my ass for 8 years. Here in this article I am going to give you some useful tips on getting that leach sucking kid off your worn out nipples.

Tip #1 WEAN!!

You have to wean these crack babies off that nipple ladies! Why do you think us men go straight for the breasts during any sort of fore play? We always come back home to the nip 🙂 Start with cutting out the first morning session, this session is the most loved. Keep adding taking out a session as you go.

Tip #2 WASABI

You can always rub some good ole hot Wasabi on those nipples right before a session if the brat is still wanting the nip after you tried the weaning part. If you start to feel a nice tingling sensation from the Wasabi, don’t worry, just bring that nipple over to the desiring wet lips of your husband and he will make it all better 😉

Tip #3 DISCIPLINE

When that toddler starts to cry and throw a temper tantrum, take those big breasts out and bend them over and smack those things good across them. Show them that you are serious about getting their eyes off the prize. Heck, it wouldn’t bother me if you slapped them around in the face a little with them. Use those tools the good Lord gave you like a ruler across ones hand! Lay the smack down momma! 🙂

Hope I could at least make you smile!

Stop doing crunches fattty!

Well this is my first ever blog and I am going to hit the gates running like a wild horse on this issue. Are you the person that goes to the gym with a doughnut or spare tire for that matter wrapped around your mid section? And what is the first exercise that comes to mind that you should start with? Crunches? Ab Machines? Hell NO!!! Get your fat ass on the treadmill and start running, and walking. Now let me explain why. You keep telling me that you are doing 1000 crunches a week and you just cant seem to lose any belly fat. Its not going to happen that way Jay Leno. Why even bother doing sit ups or crunches when you have polar bear layers of fat covering up your abs? There is no point! Until you lose the fat surrounding your abs, no point in trying to make them magically appear or rise to the surface from under that fat. That’s not going to happen either! So now your question is “How do I lose the belly fat?” Well, interval training is most likely going to be your best source since you obviously have no knowledge to begin with because your fat ass was over there doing sit ups for NOTHING. Interval training is doing one certain exercise at one pace then switching to another pace. I would suggest for you rookies with that jelly filled doughnut around your waste to start with a walk/run interval. Walk on the treadmill at a low incline for 1 minute, then run at the same incline for 2 minutes. Do this repeatedly for 30 minutes. If that spare tire starts getting heavy and 30 minutes is too much to begin with then try 15 minutes and work your way up. My point to this blog is that you WILL NOT lose belly fat doing any sort of abdomen exercise. You have to burn that fat off the good old hard way. Sweat it out!!!